I can’t believe that 2017 has come to a close. It was definitely one of the best years of my life and sitting down and reflecting on it took some time. To say that it was full of adventures, trials, anxiety, exciting opportunities, heart break, new relationships, personal growth, and discovering even more of what I value as a person is an understatement. It’s been a hot second since I’ve posted on this space, so I also thought that this would be a good opportunity to catch y’all up.
I’m personally not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I think every day is a chance to improve on yourself and continue to work towards your goals, so while I do review my goals and reflect, I still have goals I’m working towards. Plus, at this point in my life, reevaluating my goals typically aligns with the beginning of a new semester. So while I don’t have goals to share with you, I do have trials and excitement to share with you.
Disney College Program
The Disney College Program is probably one of the best things I’ve done in my life. Ever. I had applied in August of 2016 and was accepted a month later to take on a role in merchandise. Come January of 2017 my car was packed full of my stuff and my mom and I began the 1,500-mile trek to Orlando, Florida. On the way there I received my assignment, I was going to be working merchandise in Fantasyland.
Being immersed in Disney culture was a whirlwind. I’ve always been told that I’m too happy, that my voice is too cheerful, that I’m too energetic, etc. I cannot explain in words how amazing it was to me to be surrounded by like-minded people that dare I say might have a voice even more cheerful than me! Which is saying a lot since I’ve been told my voice sounds like Minnie Mouse since I was five. I haven’t spoken about it much in this space but I’m a total brand nerd. I value the companies I work for, I value how I’ve viewed on this space and on social media, and I want to align myself with companies that reflect my personal values and work ethic. Being in that culture was exciting and showed me that I need to value being around the same type of people in my professional career.
In Fantasyland I spent my days twirling around in my princess dress, being mistaken for Rapunzel (can’t complain about that one…), and pixie dusting princesses and princes of all ages. To say the least, all of my little girl dreams came true. Heck, all of my 21-year-old dreams came true.
My off days were spent with my roommates and coworkers going to the parks, driving to the beach, shopping at the outlet malls, going to Chick-Fil-A, and getting lost driving to new destinations one too many times.
If you want to read more about my experience at Disney, check out my dear Disney post here.
My Anxiety Struggle
In 2017 I started dealing with my anxiety once again at the same horrible level I did when I was in the second grade. In Disney my anxiety was the “best” it had been in a while and once I got back to school it came back in a way that is worse than what I personally can remember. Up until this year of college I was scared to talk to anyone about it. I shook it off as either something that I deal with because I’m in college or something that should just be considered “normal”. Then I had a panic attack in front of my class and even got up and ran out of a class to lock myself in the bath room where I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. And while I deal with panic attacks quite often, I typically restrict unless you’ve been talking to me you couldn’t tell. These two panic attacks were complete and utter melt down, hyperventilating level. It was bad.
That’s when I realized it was time to do something. I’ll be talking to someone in the counseling center when I get back to school as a majority of the anxiety in my life at-the-moment is school related. I plan to write about it both to make others feel that they aren’t alone and to allow me to get my personal thoughts out about. I also plan to better my coping mechanisms in this new year because nothing is getting in the way of me and my goals.
What? Megan talks to boys? Boys talk to Megan? I know, I know. I am very private about my relationships. It’s something I see as very personal and special and I definitely don’t want to throw a guy onto my social media and blog. In the past, I’ve been in some not so great relationships. One boy completely lied about pretty much everything, one boy cheated, and one boy said that my major sounds like what you pursue when you will just stay at home with the kids anyway (not shading stay-at-home moms, in fact, that point may come in my life, but not the thing to say to a girl that’s excited to get started on her professional career and believes in girl power no matter what your career is.) In 2017 I decided that I was going to grow from those experiences and *hopefully* not find myself in those positions again. I started the year still seeing a boy from the previous fall semester but long distance was pretty difficult and we had different goals in where we saw ourselves in the future. We ended up breaking up and I found myself going on dates and not necessarily meeting anyone that was boyfriend material. I got back to school in August and met a boy about two weeks into the semester. He’s super sweet and is one of the most like-minded to me guys I’ve ever met/been with. He may or may not have asked me to be his girlfriend before Christmas break as well.
From everything I’ve learned from previous relationships, value yourself. No guy is worth constantly being anxious, insecure, unhappy, or making your life choices based purely off of what they want. There are so many things I’ve been able to do and pursue because the guy I was seeing was supportive or I was single. I’ve had to learn that being single isn’t a bad thing and that it’s common to still be 22 and not found the one just yet. Trust me, I had upwards of 50 friends get engaged in 2017. That’s a long ways away for me!
Cheers to 2018!
Here’s to new adventures, opportunities, personal growth, and more of life. This year I’m looking forward to graduating from college, continuing to fill this space, completing my internship, working on improving my anxiety, and applying to big girl jobs. Here’s to kicking ass and a very happy 2018. Cheers!